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Don't ever apologize. It is incredibly helpful to "write it all down" and get it out there. I have zero issues talking about this stuff and just hope it's helpful to others. When my depression and anxiety are at their worst, my sleep goes to **** and everything gets even worse. I was nearly suicidal once a couple of years ago, and thankfully got help. About 5 or 6 weeks ago, I fell into that hole again but thankfully not quite as deep. I knew I needed help, but wasn't AS bad. Still, it required a weeks stay in hospital to keep an eye on me and make sure we got things back on track. The reason I bring this up is because this message board (and a group chat on FB with my best friends) kept me going through some dark times. I'm so appreciative of all the people here (yes, even TBurg and TB4E...) and the conversations every day!!

It’s been hard me and my partner of 7 years broke up in September. Football is something I love deeply, I started a new career the same month that requires a lot of extra circulars outside of work hours; with courses to keep me busy to take my mind off things. I’ve buried myself into my work, and going to the gym in the evenings to try and get over it, nothing quite comforts me more then watching the Bombers play and to an extent the Jets play. As horrible of a feeling it was to lose in so thankful for every game I got to watch, every day I got to take my mind off and talk football with you fine folk, and most importantly I’m thankful for 2019 and 2021, the first two Grey cups of my entire life time. It’s sad that football season is over but as crushed as I am I can see the light and the good from it, as things slow down around here and there’s less courses and work to do I’ll have to confront my realization the love of my life and myself aren’t together but I want to let you guys know it’s been great to have this message board and the Bombers during these tough times. Sorry if this was all over the place I just wanted to speak my truth without going back to it before I lost my train of thoughts.

First one

I get it, Bros. Take your time with it and by the time we're approaching free agency and drafts and having a few juicy comings & goings stories in the off season, your thirst for the new challenge of 2023 will pull you onward. It's the love that will bring you back. Winning is great, winning Championships is epic but it is the love of your team and of our game that makes me utterly doubtless that the prospect of a new season of the CFL and Bomberball will embolden you all, once more to risk your feelings by investing a not insignificant part of yourself in the fortunes of your team. You are the Bombers. That's why it can hurt so bad. I say this as someone who routinely is met with puzzlement, laughter, indifference and sometimes hostility because I am an Argonaut and I could never be anything else. Lots of food for thought in this thread. Thanks everyone. Particularly the part which @wbbfan added about the ways that we identify ourselves and partition aspects of our psyches into 1,2,3 or more parcels really gave me a "pause and consider" moment.

Much respect to all the people putting their mental health issues out there. I myself struggle with anxiety/depression every day. It’s an important dialogue to leave open, especially among the male population. Last year when the Bombers beat the Riders in the WF, I was quite sad, and felt numb. I did question to myself why I was letting the outcome of a game I had no control over upset me so much, but as others have echoed here, our teams really do become a part of our identity. If anyone, and I mean this, ever needs a place to vent about mental health, anything like that, please DM me. I work with a mental health support group specifically for men, and would be happy to help.

To be honest guys, this year stings but it doesn’t even come close to 2001 or 07. 2019 was very special, in that I got to see a cup win with my Dad. My Grandfather was one of the biggest Bomber fans. He and my Dad had a tough relationship at times but they always bonded over the Bombers. Granddad passed away in 1983, I could always tell it broke my Dads heart that they didn’t see 1984 together. I saw so many parallels during the drought, can’t describe how badly I wanted to see that 2019 victory with the old man. Not to mention seeing a guy I’ve known since nursery school (AH) helping end Winnipeg’s drought..So many special aspects of that win. 2021 was both the hardest and best year of my life. We had twins in September of that year, and unfortunately we lost one of my baby girls to heart disease at 3 weeks. After all the grief, and sleepless nights of raising a newborn, our family experiencing another cup win at that particular time..So grateful for that distraction. Seeing my Dad holding his granddaughter while watching the final OT play was another all time life moment. I try to keep all this in mind after this past one. Saying “I have perspective” is inaccurate. I’m still busted up over the team losing, but unlike 01 and 07 I’m not dwelling on it all winter. Again, thank you guys, especially @Zach Schnitzer and @Noeller Just remember when you’re down, you’re NEVER the only one. I’m sure you all have support in your real lives, but my PMs are always open if anyone here is suffering.

Thanks for sharing @NoellerI was in the hospital this summer. For the second time in my life. Saved my life and now on the right meds and path. Glad we’re talking about this stuff.

Prukop had a role to play in terms of widening out the D and threatening the edge. Have no problem with him coming in to run some option run stuff. Guy should not be throwing the ball. Maybe in July or August, not in November when it's -4 and grip is damn near impossible on top of all his other shortcomings as a passer. That call is unforgivable. You use him as a running QB and you don't even really need the threat of him passing because all you're doing is using misdirection to create one vertical gap where Prukop or Oliviera or Demski get a shot 1 on 1 vs a LB or DB. Our gameplan did not utilize the run enough....and that's why we lost. It's why our O is struggling in playoffs generally. A ball you think is gonna go 35 yards is probably going to go 28 or 32 and that's why you can't be safe throwing the ball downfield in November.

awesome. From injury plagued to key cog in the best OL in the league....

Thanks and no need to apologize. I knew what forum I was posting in.

That's a fine line to walk - the more you know, the more realize realize how corrupt and terrible the world is and how little power we have to do anything to do about it. I've never been more mentally fragile than I was during covid and 90% of my time was spent reading the news and people commenting about virus this, masking that. My wife and I talk about staying in our bubble. Be good people, raise our children to be good people. Hope to leave more positive impacts than we do negative.

If O'Shea stays, the core stays....it's that simple. All this loss did was piss them off. 20-0 next year....let's go.

I used to take sports way, way too seriously and then about 25 years ago happened on a video essay by Ian Ross discussing the concept of Bread and Circuses. I cannot find it unfortunately, but here is a good summary of the concept: The idea that people can be pacified by food and entertainment when they should be rallying to their prescribed civic duties isn't a new one. In fact, the concept was first described in ancient times by the satirical Roman poet Juvenal, who penned the Latin term panem et circenses, which means "bread and circuses." "Two things only the people anxiously desire -- bread and circuses," he wrote, lamenting the failure of citizens to take action as the democratic Roman Republic fell and the heavy-handed Roman Empire began. Within a mere 100 years, Rome underwent massive governmental changes. What in 133 B.C.E. was a free republic that relied on a voting populace and an assembly system morphed into an embittered autocracy by the first century C.E. [source: Beard]. Thus, Juvenal's term, "bread and circuses" went viral, used by scores of people -- then and now -- to describe people who voluntarily trade their democratic freedoms in exchange for stable-yet-controlling government. Back then, the Roman government kept the Roman people pacified by offering them free food and rousing entertainment in the Roman Colosseum. Now, "bread and circuses" applies to any civic or governmental entity -- or any situation, really -- in which the masses willingly accept short-term solutions to ease their discontent. So, essentially sports is and has been used to distract us from what's really important in our lives. That's not to say that we shouldn't allow ourselves to be distracted, but we have to recognize it for the distraction that it is. As someone who takes the world far too seriously (and also suffers from depression) I struggle with thirsting to know everything I can about why things are the way they are. I appreciate the excitement of sport, the beauty of music and great stories (whether they be delivered in a book or by a television show or movie) if only to remember what it's like to feel something. That being said, those feelings are fleeting - perhaps by necessity - because I still try to care about the truly important things we all can get distracted from.

Thanks so much my friend. I love what you’ve said about our third place. It’s so true. This forum and the Bombers community is definitely mine as well. Cheers buddy. I get that. For me it’s much more than entertainment. It’s family, it’s my lifestyle. Everything surrounds the Blue. At the same time, I try to remember that it’s about the great relationships I’ve gained, not the wins and losses, as much as the latter hurt badly.

I can feel this, I stepped back from sports in general in 1996 when Jets 1.0 packed up, the Rough Riders folded (I was in Ottawa then) and the CFL -- my original sports true love -- was just about dead. Prior to that I was a massive sports fan, really into everything. I've never really been bothered by teams winning and losing -- that's cyclical -- but the ongoing existence of the league is where my anxiety would go if I let it. So nowadays I tune out all mention of the CFL's economic health and management and just watch the games on TSN (occasionally live too). I'm thankful for every kickoff and I actually kinda can't believe the CFL still exists in the same form it did when I first fell in love with it. since it's USA thanksgiving tomorrow, ought to note I'm thankful for MBB too, this place really helps me feel the bomber love, the strange, ineffable thrill I get from watching the blue and gold kick ass. this place really keeps my fandom alive. thanks folks.

It’s soo important to take time and acknowledge these issues. It’s stuff people don’t even think about too often. The 01 loss hit me soo hard and a few times since I’ve had to step away. I was watching a video today on 3rd places. Basically your home is 1 and work is 2. The 3rd place is a low cost or free place like a local pub or coffee shop where you hang out and mingle out side of your 1 and 2 groups. With the mass suburbanization of North America a lot of places have lost that 3rd place. It’s hard to have a community area when the community is an endless sea of replicant houses. I think for me and a lot of people here the bombers and this forum is a 3rd place or the only 3rd place. So when the team is in the dumps or we suffer a tough loss it effects people a lot more emotionally and in terms of mental health than any one on the out side would ever think. the seasonal nature of our game makes it hard too. The off-season is long and dark. I think the last few years with regular threads on greatest teams and players has helped that a lot. Just because we lost and it’s the off season doesn’t mean this isn’t a 3rd place. Maybe we need a vent thread or one just focusing on all the good things this team has going. I know a lot of the efforts you’ve put in zach has meant a lot to some of the young remote bomber fans, even though you struggle, you’re helping a lot of people and the cause it self. Keep on keepin on bud. You’ve done soo much and come soo far in a short time. I can’t wait to see where you have risen in a couple years.

Rider Nation since August:

My deepest sympathies to those suffering from depression and are struggling with the GC loss. However, I was pissed at the way we lost but not really despondent. It’s been a good 3 years overall. I actually slept like a baby Sunday and Monday night. I’ve learned in my 62 years on this big ball not to take sports that seriously. It is after all, entertainment.

I will never tire of this image at our beloved IGF West:

When it comes to passing ability prukop is a really good running qb.

wanted to take a moment to thank @Zach Schnitzerfor writing this piece. I, too, suffer from various mental illness, including depression and anxiety..... and "You're not alone" is a key phrase for people like us. I care more about this team, and (especially living in AB) my identity is so entangled with the team, that this championship loss has caused me a lot of grief. Like a death in the family kind of grief. But, as Zach says here: It's normal and we're not alone.

I used to get very upset, just ask anyone in a group game with me on Xbox Live, but as I've aged I've mellowed considerably. Sure seeing the Bomber lose was heart breaking, but for me it was a temporary thing. During the game, I've flip on the ref for missing an obvious call, or the command center for again screwing the Bombers, only to have the wife come and close the den door to lessen the sound of my shouting. For me a couple minutes or hours later I'm over it. I have other things that occupy my mind. I work with a guy that really seems to struggle with things, not sports related, and I've had to talk him off the ledge a few times. Everyone deals differently with mental illness but please please never think you have to deal with it alone. There are resources everywhere to help https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html. Just pick up a phone and call. Hell even email me if you need to vent.

Because half of the "fans" in that picture won't even be in attendance for the majority of their games next year.

Last week you were the enemy Bluto....sorry for the rough ride you got when you came here last week. lol. Congrats on your team winning. I pathologically hate the Riders though....darn...

The reality is that we become involved with sports teams as an escape and become emotionally invested in them -some of us obsessively so. When our personal lives become emmeshed with our teams or individuals, we enter a grey, potentially unbalanced state of mind. We follow our heroes for the drama- the soaring highs, the crashing lows and yes, the tensions. Our sports and even political attachments are often analogues for our lives and that is all well and good so long as we do not cross the line from entertainment into obsession. The sense of continuity and community that sports can offer can carry us through rough times and have value as long as we do not let the "us vs them" attitude does not become pathological.

For sure! That’s part of my coping is that while I let myself grieve the loss it’s about much more than winning and losing. It’s challenging the first few days and then it comes. at the end of the day it’s about family and friends and supporting a good cause. Winning is gravy.

I think it's important to find a sense of fellowship and community. The reality is that the community itself does not and should not rely on the outcome of a game.

Thanks for sharing this. Very interesting! I would agree with a lot of this. I guess for me, and for many Bombers fans, while it’s a distraction, it’s also a meaningful community. We feel connected to the players, coaches and staff who are mourning big time. The Bombers make us very much part of the team and regarding civic duty, the club does so much in the community. Anyway not discounting your post. It’s super interesting and helpful.

The Flames owner Murray Edwards could afford to build a stadium himself as he's worth billions but he refuses to spend any money. He's a terrible owner of the Stamps. Neither Edwards or the politicians wants to spend a penny on McMahon Stadium. He's also an absentee owner. He left Canada a number of years ago as he feels he pays too much tax & lives permanently in London, England. KBF, it will never happen.

Just in case someone is triggered - seeing that name in a thread title.

I told myself that if we lost the Grey Cup that I wouldn't let it consume me like these gamess have in the past. That I'd focus on the positives in my life. I refuse let losing a football game bother me as much as it used to. Maybe it's my age & maturity talking here now but my advice to you is just try to focus on all the positives in your life. Your loving wife, your job. Ice fishing all winter. Your friends & family in Alberta & back in Manitoba. I'm not happy we lost... NO WAY... & that Prukop play sticks in my craw but it is what it is. We can't change what happened so there's no sense dwelling on it more than you need.

Thanks for sharing guys. I struggle with my mental wellness too. It’s been a really tough couple of years, and reading and participating in the talk around here helps a lot.

Prukop said the the Freep that the throw was to Ellingson. Looks to me like Bailey drew coverage to the ball. Not saying it was a good throw but sure sounds like Bailey shouldn't have been there. https://www.winnipegfreepress.com/sports/football/bombers/2022/11/22/i-didnt-do-enough-collaros-says-of-grey-cup-loss Short-yardage quarterback Dakota Prukop admitted Tuesday he’s lost sleep over the interception he threw in the fourth quarter in Sunday’s Grey Cup. The Bombers had a 23-17 lead when Prukop came in for a play and attempted a deep pass that was picked off by Shaq Richardson. “I would’ve liked to have Greg (Ellingson) more open. If he’s (wide open), then you take that shot. But the situation we were in and with the momentum, I just really wish I could’ve moved on and found the next receiver,” said Prukop in front of his locker. “So, yeah, that one hurt, man. Buck made a great call. I told him before the game ‘If you put me in, I’m going to take care of the ball.’ I’ve done it all year and on that play, I didn’t. It sucks.”

If it helps at all, focus on what you have control over. If you can’t control it, it can’t control you.

SHout out to @Zach Schnitzer and @Noeller for sharing their experiences and shining a light on mental wellness.

shared this in another thread.... didn't realize this existed. Can't thank you enough for writing it. I suffer with depression, anxiety (and possibly some other stuff that they're not 100% sure about) and am having a really hard time with this loss. Like "death in the family" kinda grief. Most people think it's insane (it is, to a degree) but it's also really normal. "You're not alone" and "it's okay to not be okay" are really important right now.

This team has no quit.

Thinking about PR guys. I think McCrae would have made a difference in the last 2 games. I see him as being a future all-star type. An American Demski if you will. I hope they’re able to bring him back, and do a little more to fit him on the active roster next year.

I know this article doesn’t speak for everyone but for those who are struggling to manage the sadness, anger, and disbelief, I hope this helps. Zach @zachschnitzer48 on Twitter https://3downnation.com/2022/11/22/youre-not-alone-the-reality-of-a-grieving-winnipeg-blue-bombers-fan/

I know this is not an easy answer, but it worked for me I have control over how much of my headspace I devote to pro sports. Any impact that it has on me, is within my control I came to this realization after the Oilers' 2006 run to the Stanley Cup finals - I really got into it - Canadian team, Cinderella story all that stuff When it was over, I ended up seriously questioning if it was worth it Since then, the only league that I follow 100% is the CFL. I simply felt that was what I needed to do, and it has worked for me

The execution was one thing, which - and let's be totally honest here - was pretty horrendous. What really creams my corn is the decision to call that play at the time it was called. You're up by 6 and still holding onto some momentum. Oliveira rushes for 13 yards, putting the offense at roughly midfield with a fresh set of downs. Run the ******* ball again.

During the GC, when they were panning out of IG west, my son says to me, "That looks like a toilet seat." I spat out my drink all over the place...

this is a near-daily listen for me.....

Just happened to be catching Parliament today and almost did a spit take when a CP MP accused the LIB gov't for the increase in hate crimes.

I found this while dealing with a different kind of loss...but...if it helps someone now or later.. As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks. -anon-

Yes it will. 🙂

Gonna take a long time to get over this one man. They were on the verge of greatness and a dynasty, the first in 40 years and were one freaking play away. My buddies and i(who dont get together all that often anymore) spent the weekend in Regina, partied it up, and had a great time. We went into Mosaic living our best lives, only to come out devastated. Was quite the somber ride home. Even if we win it next year im not sure itll erase this s****y taste in my mouth.

I'd like to thank @Zach Schnitzerfor the article and @Noellerfor opening up. I'm at an ok place with the loss but have dealt with depression/anxiety in the past so I appreciate the discussion.

Back to the overall topic of loving this team. When ZC threw that INT with a couple minutes to go, that is game over for most teams. How great was it that we got the stop on D, unheralded Cdn special teamer blocks the kick, and then the offense did just enough to get a chance to win the game. Didn't end well, but that was awesome.