There Once Was a Woman...

[Pete Catan's Ghost]

Credit to johnzo for starting up poet's corner and TLB for the inspiration. I doubt that this thread will get as much mileage as the Haiku piece, but what the hell.

 

There was a wee kicker named Lirim

Whose team mates would not get too near him

They thought it bad luck

‘Cause the goalposts he'd struck

It was always a guess if he’d clear ‘em

[Mark F]

LOL

[Mark F]

There was a QB named Matt Nichols

kept finding himself in a  pickle

He told his O lineman

 let no-one behindem

then the points stopped coming in trickles

Edited July 16, 2017 by Mark F

[Mark F]

There was a DB named loffler

said receivers:

nobody hits awfler

He caused such great harms

that they got gator arms

I heard that he likes Mark Knoffler.

please stop me. please.

 

 

Edited July 16, 2017 by Mark F

[yogi]

I assumed this would be a Sara Orlesky appreciation thread. 

[Chaosmonkey]

There once was an Andrew named Harris

The boatmen said "He doesn't scare us!"

Andrew pounded the Ball

and the argos did call

"Trestman, start the bus!"

[Pete Catan's Ghost]

4 hours ago, yogi said:

I assumed this would be a Sara Orlesky appreciation thread. 

A bodacious Miss called Orlesky

Cried, why is Darrin Bauming so pesky?

He said; could be worse

I'm not the "Lawless Curse"

She had to agree....more or less-ky

 

Edited July 17, 2017 by Pete Catan's Ghost

[Eternal optimist]

The 97th Grey Cup was won,

By the Riders, up by two - things looked done...

But wait - what's this?

A second chance after a miss?

13th man sure cost 'em that one...

 

 

[Rod Black]

Kev-in, he only has one ball.

Car-ter, has two but they are small.

La-batte, has something simler. 

but Chris Jones, has no balls, at all.

Edited July 17, 2017 by Rod Black

[Chaosmonkey]

There once was a receiver who wasn't so tall 

Chris Jones proclaims that he is too short to ball

So he moved to east from west

To the team that we all love best

And of the games he's played against his old team? He's won them all!

Edited July 17, 2017 by Chaosmonkey

[Floyd]

Of a national receiver Giguere,

Rod Black soundly declared

"Oh how he hustled

And my he was muscled"

At his abs, he dreamily stared

[Floyd]

This Friday tune in to TSN

Colour commentary by Matt Dunigan

By the third quarter

His whisky'll be shorter

And for sure he'll slip in a '****' again

 

[CodyT]

There once was a player named Doug brown

who was highly recognized all over town

he hit like a truck, but couldn't win a cup

And now he's got a permanent frown 

 

there was once a player named milt Stegall

they called him the touch down beagle

he tried so hard, to get that extra yard

and we still see him on the highlight reals

 

Could go on and on..

[Jacquie]

There was a young lady from Venus

whose body was shaped like a...

 

Oops. Sorry, wrong fandom.

Edited July 17, 2017 by Jacquie

[Taynted_Fayth]

There once was a man named Lawless

That some swear looked just like a Walrus

He took his mustard stained shirt

down to the sun soaked desert

So he could strut around the town braless

[Goalie]

The Bombers will give you quite a thrill

In the Summers heat and Falls chill

Popping Pads and quick feet

Will lead to our opponents defeat

A bit of sweat Hit after Hit 

The O and D will never quit

Throw the ball and stop the run

Lets show the CFL whose fans are Number 1. 

[johnzo]

I love you people

[Chaosmonkey]

There is a team who wears Gold and Blue,

and if we're honest, they wear white too. 

Total championships equals ten

and I really hope they will win again

before my life is through. 

[Eternal optimist]

2 minutes ago, Chaosmonkey said:

There is a team who wears Gold and Blue,

and if we're honest, they wear white too. 

Total championships equals ten

and I really hope they will win again

before my life is through. 

There is a team with Green Pride,

With hillbillies and inbreds they ride,

They're fifth in the west,

They think they're the best;

4 Grey Cups in 100+ years? You decide...

[Pete Catan's Ghost]

17 hours ago, Jacquie said:

There was a young lady from Venus

whose body was shaped like a...

 

Oops. Sorry, wrong fandom.

I'm reminded of the wh**e from Regina.

.... but that's another story for another day.

[Chaosmonkey]

There once was a man filled with rider pride

Who owned a fancy car for his ride

Now it only sat two

But what did he do?

He fit his mom, sister, mother and aunt inside. 

[do or die]

There once was a guy, named Do or Die

Who drank the gin, not on the sly.

Football made him all a quiver.  

Who cares what it did, to his liver?

Spends way too much time on this board.

But has found no way, to cut the cord.

All he can do, is drink and sigh.

While waiting for the Bombers to fly.

 

[Fatty Liver]

There once was a killer named Loffler

Who replaced Macho who was awfuller

His mullet is cool

His method severe

He starred in Fargo as "da Waffler"

[Eternal optimist]

There once was a Lewis named Nik,
A receiver that can take a lick,
But it was his catches,
As he reeled in batches,
His receptions are now 1,000 thick

 

Edited July 20, 2017 by Eternal optimist

[Pete Catan's Ghost]

8 hours ago, Eternal optimist said:

There once was a Lewis named Nik,
A receiver that can take a lick,
But it was his catches,
As he reeled in batches,
His receptions are now 1,000 thick

 

Nice