Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
14 hours ago, kelownabomberfan said:

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Blaszko took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally, Blaszko takes me into a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us. Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burnt the place to the ground. Blaszko yelled over the roar of the flames, "Always leave things the way you found them!"

 

 

 

16 hours ago, kelownabomberfan said:

I'm going to miss Blaszko!  Did I ever tell you  guys about the time I went horseback riding with Blaszko, but there weren’t any horses around? Well, Blaszko throws a saddle on my back and rides me around Wyoming for three days. Well, wouldn’t you know it, my stamina increases with each day and I develop tremendous leg muscles. So anyway, Blaszko decides to enter me in the Breeders’ Cup, right, under the name Turkish Delight. And I’m running in second place, and I’m running and I break my ankle! They’re about to shoot me. Then someone from the crowd yells out, God bless him, ‘Don’t shoot him, he’s a human.'”

So what you're saying is that you went to a bar and got drunk with some flaming guy, who then mounted you and rode you like a horse for 3 days?

giphy.gif

Posted
18 hours ago, TrueBlue4ever said:

 

So what you're saying is that you went to a bar and got drunk with some flaming guy, who then mounted you and rode you like a horse for 3 days?

 

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Blaszko showed up at my daughter’s wedding? You know my daughter, she’s a beautiful girl. Well, Blaszko shows up and you know he’s a big fella. Well, he’s standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He’s got no right to be there, but he’s drunk and he’s Blaszko.  Well, long story short, the priest accidentally marries me and Blaszko. We spent the weekend in the Poconos — he loved me like I’ve never been loved before.

Posted
19 minutes ago, kelownabomberfan said:

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Blaszko showed up at my daughter’s wedding? You know my daughter, she’s a beautiful girl. Well, Blaszko shows up and you know he’s a big fella. Well, he’s standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He’s got no right to be there, but he’s drunk and he’s Blaszko.  Well, long story short, the priest accidentally marries me and Blaszko. We spent the weekend in the Poconos — he loved me like I’ve never been loved before.

YOU KNOW HE GOES ABOUT 8 FOOT 3!!

Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Noeller said:

YOU KNOW HE GOES ABOUT 8 FOOT 3!!

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Blaszko took his family to Sea World? They were watching Shamu the whale when Blaszko got splashed. So Blaszko yells, ‘I’m Brett Blaszko and no one gets me wet!’ So he climbs into the tank, grabs Shamu, and throws the whale into the audience, splashes him and yells, ‘How do you like it?’ And then damn if Blaszko didn’t step in there and finish the show.

Edited by kelownabomberfan
Posted

“Did I ever tell you about the time Brett Blaszko forced me to wear a woman’s bikini around the office? Blaszko tears off my clothes and makes me wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing a woman’s bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily. But at the end of the quarter, I’ll be damned if my sales hadn’t tripled.

Posted
57 minutes ago, rebusrankin said:

KBF, I wanna buy you a drink.

To Brett Blaszko!!!

Did I tell you guys about the time I asked Blaszko to dress up like Santa for a Christmas party I was throwing for my children.  Well Blaszko shows up as Santa, reaches into his bag and says: I’ve got goodies for you kids. He proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says: There is no Santa ’cause I ate him!

Posted

Did you know Brett Blaszko is the godfather of my son? He shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol’ Brett Blaszko pushes the priest aside and says, ‘I’ll baptize that piece of calimari!’ Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, ‘There! You’re baptized! My son is still blind to this day!

Posted
13 minutes ago, Throw Long Bannatyne said:

What da hell is going on?  This thread has somehow devolved into bedtime stories as told by Norm MacDonald.

So anyways, Blaszko would put on a white tie and tails and walk his pet cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra “Beverly”. He taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day, it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes, Blaszko had to shoot the maid.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...