2019 CFL Season: Around the League

[kelownabomberfan]

10 minutes ago, Ripper said:

Ok. Have at it.  Was hoping for some new material this year from you Mennonites. 

I got some:

What is a Mennonite ethical dilemma?

Free dance lessons.

 

So Abe Penner gets shipwrecked on a desert island all by himself. He's stuck there and doesn't know what to do, but he figures it's a good idea to build a church...for although he's the only person on the island he figures that, come Sunday, he doesn't want to be the only person on the island NOT in church!

 

Years later, a ship passes by the island. One of the guys from the rescue team sees a large, ornate building on edge of the beach and asks him "Wow! Somebody had some spare time on their hands to practice their carpentry skills! That's quite the house you built yourself?"

 

Abe, stunned, says "No! I would never live in such an ornate building! This is no house of a mere man sir! This is the house of the Lord!"

 

The rescuer, bewildered, then points to another, smaller building several hundred feet behind the church and asks him "Well, if this is a church, is THAT your house?"

 

Abe turns, spits and replies loudly, "No sir! That's the church I used to attend!

 

Why do mennonite boys grow beards?

They want to look just like their moms!

[17to85]

11 minutes ago, kelownabomberfan said:

phony doctors?  Hello...

 

 

[Tracker]

And Mennonites are forbidden to have sex while standing- it might lead to dancing.

There has been a Chlamydia outbreak in the bible belt around Winkler. Its going from Dyck to Dyck without Reimer Freisen.

 

.....I'm here all week.

[Ripper]

How do we know Adam and Eve were Mennonite?   Who else would be in a garden with a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit

[Colin Unger]

8 minutes ago, Ripper said:

How do we know Adam and Eve were Mennonite?   Who else would be in a garden with a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit

Oba Yo!

[Noeller]

All these jokes are at least relatively funny because I spent an AWFUL year and a half in Winkler with the most conservative people I have ever met... 

[Ripper]

2 minutes ago, Noeller said:

All these jokes are at least relatively funny because I spent an AWFUL year and a half in Winkler with the most conservative people I have ever met... 

I work with a guy from Winkler. We bug the hell out of him about being a Mennonite, which he isn't.  That sausage from them is sure good though 

[do or die]

Just want to say that.........whoops, wrong forum.....

[Mark H.]

Somebody go start a Daily Bonnet thread. 

[Rod Black]

6 hours ago, Tracker said:

And Mennonites are forbidden to have sex while standing- it might lead to dancing.

There has been a Chlamydia outbreak in the bible belt around Winkler. Its going from Dyck to Dyck without Reimer Freisen.

 

.....I'm here all week.

Great line...I’ll be using that...

Difference between Mennonites and Hudderites is that Mennonites are too cheap to buy the uniform. 

 

[Zontar]

9 hours ago, Ripper said:

No one sells out every game do they?  Our average paid attendance is within 1500 seats of a sell out, we sell out a few times each year, not sure, never looked it up                                   https://stats.cfldb.ca/league/cfl/attendance/2018/

So in other words when fortunes turn or weather is bad people stay away.

Mosaic, we were all told, was built bigger to accommodate the unique passion.

The patented Rider fanbase standard switcheroo..."we're the best/we're no different than anybody else"

Edited June 13, 2019 by Zontar

[Floyd]

https://3downnation.com/2019/06/12/six-predictions-for-the-2019-saskatchewan-roughriders/

now this is funny!!!

[Brandon]

Lots of wishful thinking from that article. Are those predictions or everything that is needed in order for the green to make the playoffs?

[Booch]

yeah kinda funny...especially the Gainey part...wayyyy overated and never understood it...gets bunrned way too often to be considered elite...and other than the one year where he got all those interceptions (10) many of which were gifts and not from superb coverage he has pick totals of 0/0/2/0/3/3...hardly a guy who creates turnovers or makes a huge difference...he of 1 sack and 4 forced fumbles in his entire 7 year career.

I'm sure we will see him in Banks or Taskers dust tonight a few times

[Jpan85]

 

[Mr Dee]

4 minutes ago, Jpan85 said:

 

 

The Command Centre will focus on only overturning calls or non-calls made on the field where a clear and obvious mistake has been made.

Saw clear evidence of these type of calls in the Calgary - BC game and the result was a much quicker decision on what happened and the avoidance of the near tossing of challenge flags by the “wronged team”.

Pleasantly surprised...

 

 

[Ripper]

1 hour ago, Floyd said:

https://3downnation.com/2019/06/12/six-predictions-for-the-2019-saskatchewan-roughriders/

now this is funny!!!

Sounds like some solid reporting here in this article. 

[Tracker]

8 minutes ago, Ripper said:

Sounds like some solid reporting here in this article. 

Fueled by word class recreational chemicals.

[wbbfan]

11 hours ago, Ripper said:

I work with a guy from Winkler. We bug the hell out of him about being a Mennonite, which he isn't.  That sausage from them is sure good though 

Never got how farmer sausage ended up being called Mennonite sausage. 

The jokes in this thread are freaking gold though. 🤣

31 minutes ago, Tracker said:

Fueled by word class recreational chemicals.

Worse yet, blind optimism. 

[the watcher]

11 hours ago, Noeller said:

All these jokes are at least relatively funny because I spent an AWFUL year and a half in Winkler with the most conservative people I have ever met... 

 I grew up a half hour from Winkler and it was the butt of alot of jokes when I was young.I worked there for a couple of years after high school. Now it has become the economic center of the area. If you haven't been there for a few years ,you wouldn't recognise it.. ( But down deep it's still Winkler. )

  By the way do you know what the definition of a paradox is ? Two ducks flying over winkler. ( you have to know the accent )

[Ripper]

10 hours ago, Zontar said:

So in other words when fortunes turn or weather is bad people stay away.

Mosaic, we were all told, was built bigger to accommodate the unique passion.

The patented Rider fanbase standard switcheroo..."we're the best/we're no different than anybody else"

Of course its bigger, we average over 32k per game

[Adrenaline_x]

Cant fault anyone for optimism though. That what being a fan is all about. If you don't have ANY then you are hurting yourself by watching some years. 

 

 

[Ripper]

17 minutes ago, wbbfan said:

Never got how farmer sausage ended up being called Mennonite sausage. 

 

 

Barbequed some last night for supper. Its says right on package that is farmers sausage.  Good question.  One thing is for sure, its good stuff.  My other favorite export out of Manitoba comes from Gimli 

[JCon]

Just now, Ripper said:

Barbequed some last night for supper. Its says right on package that is farmers sausage.  Good question.  One thing is for sure, its good stuff.  My other favorite export out of Manitoba comes from Gimli 

I'm looking into a pipeline from Gimli to my house. I'm having troubles navigating the new rules on pipelines though. Hoping the Supreme Court rules in my favour. 

[Wanna-B-Fanboy]

2 hours ago, Floyd said:

https://3downnation.com/2019/06/12/six-predictions-for-the-2019-saskatchewan-roughriders/

now this is funny!!!

No. This is funny:

1 hour ago, Ripper said:

Sounds like some solid reporting here in this article. 

 

 

I love it.

Edited June 13, 2019 by wanna-b-fanboy