An open letter to Darian Durant

[Eternal optimist]

Dear Retired Blue Bomber Alumni,

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your proactive retirement prior to the start of the 2018 season. It set in motion a cascade of Blue Bomber fortuitousness that would rival that of the prettiest sheep at Regina's county fair. For without your ability to assess your own rancid play at quarterback, and having the foresight to understand you would be a massive step backwards for us - even as a backup quarterback, we may never have seen the running prowess of Chris Streveler as QB. If you had not so honorably fallen on your sword and retired as a Winnipeg Blue Bomber, the events set in motion that transpired during our 2019 Grey Cup season may have never come to fruition. Although some may consider your actions towards the Bomber organization malicious, nay - cowardly, I do not see things that way. You deserve every bit of the $70,000 signing bonus you were entitled to, and I want you to rest assured that your actions helped ensure that pride and integrity has been restored to the Bomber organization as a result of their 2019 Grey Cup Championship.

To help commend your sacrifice for all that bleed Blue and Gold, I am including a signed bootleg copy of the 2019 Grey Cup game (on DVD), as I feel the game recording itself represents all that you understand is near and dear to the Bombers organization, grit, sportsmanship, a never-retire attitude and class. The copy is a bootleg as it is as phony as your career, personality, and legitimacy as a starting quarterback. It's a DVD because y'know - Saskatchewan (at your request, I can provide a VHS copy if that is preferable).

I have also included a slice of humble pie.

Sincerely,

Eternal Optimist

[blue_gold_84]

Raise your hand if you're still a lowdown, lying, ruthless chump.

[J5V]

2 minutes ago, blue_gold_84 said:

Raise your hand if you're still a lowdown, lying, ruthless chump.

Winning the Grey Cup and shoving in Darian Durant's face ... priceless!

 

[Eternal optimist]

1 hour ago, J5V said:

Winning the Grey Cup and shoving in Darian Durant's face ... priceless!

I don't care what organization you play for, that was a total jerk move on his part.

[Floyd]

Doubt we would have had the cash for Bighill if Durand was on the roster...

[Blue and Gold87]

Never liked the guy. Seemed to be a 'me' guy and then he got old and irrelevant. Can't win with guys like that.

[BaconNBigBlue]

I don't think Suckskatchewan moved past Beta.  You paid too much to ship them a DVD.

[blue_or_die]

We should have Darian Durant Day the next time we play the Riders at IGF (East) in a non-Banjo Bowl game. We can unveil a banner on the concourse in in the tailgate area and fans can thank DD for his help in securing the 107th Grey Cup for the Blue and Gold.

EDIT: Darian Durant urinal cakes in the men's room at IGF-East? Although that wouldn't be fair to the ladies who also deserve a chance to express their feelings toward DD. We are striving for an equitable society here, folks.

Edited November 26, 2019 by blue_or_die

[bearpants]

9 hours ago, Eternal optimist said:

Dear Retired Blue Bomber Alumni,

 

I get the feeling this letter is addressed to only one person... therefore it should start "Dear Retired Blue Bomber Alumnus"... alumni is plural...  

Edited November 26, 2019 by bearpants

[blue_gold_84]

1 hour ago, BaconNBigBlue said:

I don't think Suckskatchewan moved past Beta.  You paid too much to ship them a DVD.

When a home gets robbed in the rectangle province...

[White Out]

Saskatchewan, as a province, is the betamax of Canada.

[TBURGESS]

36 minutes ago, White Out said:

Saskatchewan, as a province, is the betamax of Canada.

No it's not. Beta was clearly technically superior to VHS. My Beta machine even skipped ads automatically on taped TV shows. VHS won because it was cheaper so more folks bought it. Saskatchewan is not clearly superior to anything.

[M.O.A.B.]

Who is Darian Durant? Please remind me. 

[B-F-F-C]

1 minute ago, M.O.A.B. said:

Who is Darian Durant? Please remind me. 

A lying thief

Edited November 26, 2019 by B-F-F-C

[B-F-F-C]

I must have missed his video tribute to the team prior to the game.  I watched most of the other alumnus videos but must have overlooked his. 

[Wanna-B-Fanboy]

9 minutes ago, B-F-F-C said:

I must have missed his video tribute to the team prior to the game.  I watched most of the other alumnus videos but must have overlooked his. 

I got a clip of it here:

 

Spoiler

 

Edited November 26, 2019 by wanna-b-fanboy

[White Out]

2 hours ago, TBURGESS said:

No it's not. Beta was clearly technically superior to VHS. My Beta machine even skipped ads automatically on taped TV shows. VHS won because it was cheaper so more folks bought it. Saskatchewan is not clearly superior to anything.

I knew that when I posted this there was a good chance someone would bring  up the technical quality of Beta. 

[do or die]

Only letter he gets from me, would be a chain letter...

[Eternal optimist]

6 hours ago, bearpants said:

I get the feeling this letter is addressed to only one person... therefore it should start "Dear Retired Blue Bomber Alumnus"... alumni is plural...  

See, I knew I needed you guys to proofread this first. Also, where's Ripper? Maybe he'll know Durant's mailing address. Maybe I should just send it to the 'Riders head office and hope that they can pass it on lol.

[JCon]

That's the only alumni letter I have seen that hasn't asked for some monetary contribution. Perhaps you should solicit some type of donation to get the Canadian Mafia Statue campaign off the ground? 

[Eternal optimist]

2 hours ago, JCon said:

That's the only alumni letter I have seen that hasn't asked for some monetary contribution. Perhaps you should solicit some type of donation to get the Canadian Mafia Statue campaign off the ground? 

Man, I don't want a dime of the money they gave Durant back, I consider it payment to him not to play for us.

[trueBlue83]

22 hours ago, Eternal optimist said:

Man, I don't want a dime of the money they gave Durant back, I consider it payment to him not to play for us.

I actually told a fan wearing a Durant jersey in Riderville on Saturday night that he owes us all a beer, but we'd forgive it because it led to the discovery of Streveler.  He didn't know what to say, it was priceless!

[M.O.A.B.]

Just lock this thread. Durant is irrelevant.