Still Struggling

[Zach Schnitzer]

I know this article doesn’t speak for everyone but for those who are struggling to manage the sadness, anger, and disbelief, I hope this helps. Zach @zachschnitzer48 on Twitter 

https://3downnation.com/2022/11/22/youre-not-alone-the-reality-of-a-grieving-winnipeg-blue-bombers-fan/

[Noeller]

shared this in another thread.... didn't realize this existed. Can't thank you enough for writing it. I suffer with depression, anxiety (and possibly some other stuff that they're not 100% sure about) and am having a really hard time with this loss. Like "death in the family" kinda grief. Most people think it's insane (it is, to a degree) but it's also really normal. "You're not alone" and "it's okay to not be okay" are really important right now. 

[Zach Schnitzer]

Thanks for sharing @Noeller I wish you all the best. I’m living proof that recovery is possible. PM me anytime. Always happy to talk mental health my friend. 

[Jpan85]

My first day back here since Sunday. Needed a few days to decompress.

[rebusrankin]

I'd like to thank @Zach Schnitzerfor the article and @Noellerfor opening up. I'm at an ok place with the loss but have dealt with depression/anxiety in the past so I appreciate the discussion.

[Jesse]

It's actually really interesting to read about mental health awareness and strategies from the perspective of a sports fan.

These are really important topics that a lot of people might not otherwise read, but sharing it from the viewpoint of a disappointed fan makes it accessible for those who may not be inclined to seek the information out on their own.

Very well done, Zach.

[Bubba Zanetti]

Gonna take a long time to get over this one man. They were on the verge of greatness and a dynasty, the first in 40 years and were one freaking play away. My buddies and i(who dont get together all that often anymore) spent the weekend in Regina, partied it up, and had a great time. We went into Mosaic living our best lives, only to come out devastated. Was quite the somber ride home. Even if we win it next year im not sure itll erase this s****y taste in my mouth.

Edited November 23, 2022 by Bubba Zanetti

[Super Duper Negatron]

This week has sucked. Among other things, I am currently getting **** on unfairly from someone who is unhappy with the way I am volunteering my time (you can probably guess what the volunteering is), and am about ready to quit. I couldn't sleep on Sunday or Monday, and this new drama has wrecked last night's sleep as well, so I am currently miserable.

[HardCoreBlue]

4 minutes ago, Bubba Zanetti said:

Gonna take a long time to get over this one man. They were on the verge of greatness and a dynasty, the first in 40 years and were one freaking play away. My buddies and i(who dont get together all that often anymore) spent the weekend in Regina, partied it up, and had a great time. We went into Mosaic living our best lives, only to come out devastated. Was quite the somber ride home. Even if we win it next year im not sure itll erase this s****y taste in my mouth.

Yes it will. 🙂

[wbbfan]

It’s soo important to take time and acknowledge these issues. It’s stuff people don’t even think about too often. The 01 loss hit me soo hard and a few times since I’ve had to step away. 
 

I was watching a video today on 3rd places. Basically your home is 1 and work is 2. The 3rd place is a low cost or free place like a local pub or coffee shop where you hang out and mingle out side of your 1 and 2 groups. 
 With the mass suburbanization of North America a lot of places have lost that 3rd place. It’s hard to have a community area when the community is an endless sea of replicant houses. 
 

I think for me and a lot of people here the bombers and this forum is a 3rd place or the only 3rd place. So when the team is in the dumps or we suffer a tough loss it effects people a lot more emotionally and in terms of mental health than any one on the out side would ever think. 
 

the seasonal nature of our game makes it hard too. The off-season is long and dark. I think the last few years with regular threads on greatest teams and players has helped that a lot. 
 

Just because we lost and it’s the off season doesn’t mean this isn’t a 3rd place. Maybe we need a vent thread or one just focusing on all the good things this team has going. 
 

 I know a lot of the efforts you’ve put in zach has meant a lot to some of the young remote bomber fans, even though you struggle, you’re helping a lot of people and the cause it self. Keep on keepin on bud. You’ve done soo much and come soo far in a short time. I can’t wait to see where you have risen in a couple years. 

[Wanna-B-Fanboy]

SHout out to @Zach Schnitzer and @Noeller for sharing their experiences and shining a light on mental wellness. 

[Geebrr]

If it helps at all, focus on what you have control over. If you can’t control it, it can’t control you. 

[Nolby]

1 hour ago, Jpan85 said:

My first day back here since Sunday. Needed a few days to decompress.

Me as well,haven't watched any highlights,haven't watched the news or barely looked at any sports.....we'll heal

[Deiter Fan]

I found this while dealing with a different kind of loss...but...if it helps someone now or later..

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

-anon-

Edited November 23, 2022 by Deiter Fan

[GCn20]

2 hours ago, Jesse said:

It's actually really interesting to read about mental health awareness and strategies from the perspective of a sports fan.

These are really important topics that a lot of people might not otherwise read, but sharing it from the viewpoint of a disappointed fan makes it accessible for those who may not be inclined to seek the information out on their own.

Very well done, Zach.

I think a lot of people underestimate the power of sports to effect our mental health. Mostly because I think most don't understand what it means to be a true sports fanatic. In, and of itself, it walks a fine line between healthy and unhealthy mental health and requires careful management and certainly cognizance. 

I have seen many people, even on these forums, go kaflooey when they don't strike the right balance between healthy and unhealthy obsession. Certainly, a very meaningful event like a championship lost is something that can be very troubling and requires fellow fanatics to reach out to each other to make sure we are all OK. 

I don't know if it helps, but for the past 3 years I have prepared myself all week prior to the game in the event of a loss. It helps to come to terms with it if you acknowledge the possibility your team may not be successful, and prepare yourself mentally for how you will cope with that beforehand. Maybe, that won't work for everyone...but it helped me on Sunday. I found myself at peace. I had prepared myself reminders that this season should not be weighed by one championship game by putting little reminders for myself around the house that we were 15-3 and just witnessed one of the greatest Bomber seasons ever. Worked for me anyway.

[Bomber_fanaddict]

The way I look at it. Now we can three peat at home in 2025  

 

[Noeller]

16 minutes ago, Bomber_fanaddict said:

The way I look at it. Now we can three peat at home in 2025  

 

I swear, I had that exact thought for the first time about 20 minutes ago....... the greatest pain is usually made up for by the greatest joy. And I can think of nothing better than the championship at home. 

[GCJenks]

4 hours ago, Noeller said:

 "it's okay to not be okay" are really important right now. 

I know people like to trash Imagine Dragons but this song has been really impactful for me. There have been days that I have to listen through more than a couple times before being able to go in to work. It really is okay to be not okay, and we have to be willing to share when we aren't. No one should have to hide that they aren't okay, we as a society won't get better if we insist on always portraying the idea that we always have to have the brave face on and hide how we are.

 

It's OKAY

 

Lyrics

 

She could always hear every word they say
Everybody walks like they just know the way
Every single day, holdin' back the tears
She'd never say a word 'cause there's nobody that hears

It's okay to be not okay
It's just fine to be out of your mind
Breathe in deep, just a day at a time (ooh, ooh)
'Cause it's okay to be out of your mind, mind

Mine is broken, how is yours?
Sure it helps to hear the news and political discourse
Fear, that is what he felt
Every single day, 'cause all the boys would play
Don't you dare be weak, emasculated freak
Last up on the fence, tell me where's the sense?

It's okay to be not okay
It's just fine to be out of your mind
Breathe in deep, just a day at a time (ooh, ooh)
'Cause it's okay to be out of your mind

I don't want this body, I don't want this voice
I don't wanna be here but I guess I have no choice
Just let me live my truth, that's all I wanna do
Baby, you're not broken, just a little bit confused

It's okay to be not okay (I need you here with me)
It's just fine to be out of your mind (I can't do it all alone)
Breathe in deep, just a day at a time (just a day at a time)
'Cause it's okay to be out of your mind (it's okay, out of your mind)
It's okay to be not okay (I need you here with me)
It's just fine to be out of your mind (I can't do it all alone)
Breathe in deep, just a day at a time (just a day at a time)
'Cause it's okay to be out of your mind (it's okay, out of your mind)
(Ga-da, la-la, la-la, la-la, la)

Da, da, da, da-da
Da, da, da, da-da
Da, da, da, da-da
Da, da, da, da-da
Da, da, da, da-da
Da, da, da, da-da
Da, da, da, da-da
Da, da, da, da-da-da

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Andrew Tolman / Ben McKee / Dan Reynolds / Daniel Platzman / Wayne Sermon

It’s OK lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

[Noeller]

this is a near-daily listen for me.....

 

[JohnnyAbonny]

Thanks for sharing guys. I struggle with my mental wellness too. It’s been a really tough couple of years, and reading and participating in the talk around here helps a lot. 

[SpeedFlex27]

6 hours ago, Noeller said:

shared this in another thread.... didn't realize this existed. Can't thank you enough for writing it. I suffer with depression, anxiety (and possibly some other stuff that they're not 100% sure about) and am having a really hard time with this loss. Like "death in the family" kinda grief. Most people think it's insane (it is, to a degree) but it's also really normal. "You're not alone" and "it's okay to not be okay" are really important right now. 

I told myself that if we lost the Grey Cup that I wouldn't let it consume me like these gamess have in the past. That I'd focus on the positives in my life. I refuse let losing a football game bother me as much as it used to.

Maybe it's my age & maturity talking here now but my advice to you is just try to focus on all the positives in your life. Your loving wife, your job. Ice fishing all winter. Your friends & family in Alberta & back in Manitoba. I'm not happy we lost... NO WAY... & that Prukop play sticks in my craw but it is what it is. We can't change what happened so there's no sense dwelling on it more than you need. 

[Mark H.]

I know this is not an easy answer, but it worked for me

I have control over how much of my headspace I devote to pro sports. Any impact that it has on me, is within my control

I came to this realization after the Oilers' 2006 run to the Stanley Cup finals - I really got into it - Canadian team, Cinderella story all that stuff

When it was over, I ended up seriously questioning if it was worth it

Since then, the only league that I follow 100% is the CFL. 

I simply felt that was what I needed to do, and it has worked for me 

[wpgallday1960]

My deepest sympathies to those suffering from depression and are struggling with the GC loss.

However, I was pissed at the way we lost but not really despondent.  It’s been a good 3 years overall.  I actually slept like a baby Sunday and Monday night.  I’ve learned in my 62 years on this big ball not to take sports that seriously.  It is after all, entertainment.

[kelownabomberfan]

This one has got me through some dark times over the years:

Probably will see this song featured on Stranger Things next year, given their infatuation with Kate Bush...

Lyrics:

In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose

Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good

Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that we'd be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up
We don't need much of anything
Don't give up
'Cause somewhere there's a place
Where we belong

Rest your head
You worry too much
It's going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don't give up
Please don't give up

Got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river's flowing
That river's flowing

Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs

Don't give up
'cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'Cause I believe there's the a place
There's a place where we belong

 

[17to85]

Have y'all just tried not being crazy?