The Unknown Poster Posted November 4, 2015 Report Posted November 4, 2015 'NHL is ready for gay player,' says Patrick Burke http://espn.go.com/nhl/story/_/id/14052110/nhl-play-co-founder-patrick-burke-says-nhl-ready-gay-player When the NHL brought on You Can Play as an official partner in the spring of 2013, the hope was that the league's first openly gay player wasn't far behind. Two and a half years later, we are still waiting. "It's surprising," Patrick Burke, the co-founder of You Can Play, said Tuesday. "We felt that the work the league was doing, the culture that the league had, the way our guys responded not just to our initiative, but to the LGBT community in general, I think we thought for sure by now there would be an out player in the NHL." Burke paused before adding: "I don't want to say it's disappointing because everyone is on their own timeline and when the first guy is ready he's going to do it." And if there was any remaining doubt about whether there were gay NHL players -- I don't know how anyone could even wonder that -- Burke says You Can Play has indeed heard from gay players in the league. "Look, we denied it for several years because we didn't want players to feel pressure, we didn't want to kick off a witch hunt, we didn't want people trying to guess who was who," said Burke. "But yes, our organization has spoken with gay players in the National Hockey League, gay staff members, gay media members. "If we could coordinate everyone we know in professional sports, not just hockey, to come out all at once, it would be world-changing overnight. But for a variety of different reasons, there are men and women who still don't think it's the right decision for them to come out at this time." I suppose if there are still homophobic NHLers they're not going to come out and say so. All I can tell you is that in the dressing room of one of the NHL's most storied franchises, the captain of the team says it would be a non-issue. "No issue at all, no issue at all," Toronto Maple Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf repeated for emphasis Wednesday. "It would be welcomed and accepted with open arms in our room. That's how I feel, I would accept it." That feeling was echoed down the hall in the visitors' dressing room at Air Canada Centre. "We got a good group in here, I don't think anybody would have an issue with it," said Winnipeg Jets captain Andrew Ladd. "It makes zero difference to us whatever your sexual orientation is; that's their personal life. I really don't think in this day and age it would be much of an issue." And yet, we wait. Why hasn't it happened yet? "I mean, it's easy for us to say, we're not in their shoes," said Ladd. "It's a choice, especially if you're the first one, it's going to be pretty magnified and it's going to take a strong person to be able to do it and go through the rigors of playing NHL hockey every day. All you can do as a teammate or friend is be supportive and accepting whenever it comes." Burke has a few theories as to why it hasn't happened yet. "I think it has come close," he said. "I would say that the coming-out experiences for the openly gay players in other leagues -- whether it was Jason Collins, whether it was Michael Sam -- those guys have had let's call them up and down experiences. Jason came out and was out of work for six or seven months. Mike came out and hasn't been able to find a home in the NFL. I wonder how many positive gay athletes are looking at that and thinking, 'Is that because they're gay or is that because they're both journeymen-level talent players.' How much of that is an authentic, scouting-based 'these guys just weren't good enough to help us' evaluation and how much of that is 'We don't' want a gay player on our team.' "I suspect there's a lot of players in our league looking at the situations with other gay athletes and wondering how much of that is because they're gay." The reality, to be fair, is that while Collins and Sam were incredibly courageous to come out, neither is a prominent player near the top of their respective food chain. "Jason is a friend of mine so I have no problem saying that, he would be the first to admit he was a depth/bench player who played 4-5 minutes a night," said Burke. "The Michael Sam story is probably worthy of a book, the stuff that we know and have been involved on both sides of things there." Then, Burke said, there's the question of hockey culture itself. "Hockey is all about the team. Hockey culture hates individualism," said Burke. "Whether that's right or wrong, hockey culture is that you do not stand out. You do not make yourself different from the team. We've had players in our league that have been yelled at for high-fiving too aggressively. So I do wonder from talking to a bunch of different players in the league that this is a team sport and almost an obsessively team culture and I think there are guys out there that are nervous about the idea that them coming out would somehow be going against that." And finally, Burke wonders about his own role in all this. The man who has done so much through his work with You Can Play wonders whether taking a job with the NHL's Player Safety Department in the spring of 2013 hasn't hindered things in terms of having players come out. "I think we would probably be further along had I not taken a job where part of my job is suspending players. Rightly or wrongly," said Burke. "We (You Can Play) interact with players all the time, whether it's guys reaching out because they have questions or guys reaching out because they want support or whatever it might be. But I really do feel taking a job where I'm part of the group suspending players really did kind of make the lines of communication between our organization and the players a little more difficult at times." It's why Burke has kept a lower profile with You Can Play and let the organization's executive director Wade Davis do his thing. "What I've tried to do is distance myself from You Can Play so that they know they can reach out and talk to Wade anytime, we have two different vice-presidents there, we have great resources," said Burke. "But it's part of the reason I've done less publicly with You Can Play." The truth, as it stands, is that no male hockey person has come out publicly since Brendan Burke, who did so while student manager of the Miami University men's hockey team in November 2009 in a piece so well written by our own John Buccigross. Brendan Burke, Patrick's brother, tragically died in February 2010 in a car crash. "I hate to selfishly praise him again but you look back at Brendan choosing to come out back in 2009, as a student-manager of the college team but with a family association to the NHL, and that was six years ago," said Burke. "We haven't had anyone else (with NHL ties) since then, not major media, not front office, not coaching, not players. I think it speaks to how amazing Brendan was, but it also shows that there clearly needs to be done something that isn't being done, or something that needs to change for players to feel comfortable to come out." You can sense both the frustration and compassion in Burke's voice. "It's tough for us as an organization where we want to stand up and scream and say, 'The NHL is ready for a gay player,'" said Burke. "Because 1,000 percent in my heart I believe that. I know that the first player who comes out is going to have a positive coming-out experience. Yet on the other hand, we know how difficult it is for anybody in the public eye to talk about their sexuality in public. Forget sports for a second, you go to politics or Hollywood, any type of celebrity, it is still an issue. "On the one hand, there are days when our entire organization is like, 'Come on, we're ready, just go ahead.'" Burke said when he goes to NHL events, there are team executives and agents and coaches who pull him aside and ask him why a player hasn't come out yet. "They're upset that it hasn't happened yet, which I think shows how inclusive they are," said Burke. "So, it's tough. I wish there was a magic bullet that I could fire and make the players in question ready. But it's such a delicate situation. It's so much based on the person's life experience and what he wants." In the meantime, Burke remains hopeful that eventually gay NHLers will feel the time is right. "All we can continue to do is make efforts to let them know that the hockey community wants everyone to be themselves and live their lives authentically and be true to who you are," said Burke. "And if you're a NHL player who happens to be in love with men off the ice, nobody in our community cares, we just want you to be happy."
Noeller Posted November 4, 2015 Report Posted November 4, 2015 The sooner Crosby comes out, the sooner everyone can get on with their lives.....
The Unknown Poster Posted November 4, 2015 Author Report Posted November 4, 2015 The sooner Crosby comes out, the sooner everyone can get on with their lives..... Wasnt he dating a model (female)? But yeah, it sucks when you realise there are likely many NHL players right now who are afraid to come out publicly. On the other hand it's no ones business but the cause *does*, to a degree, need someone to be that trail blazer to say "okay fine, you can scutinize me and my personal life if it makes it easier for everyone else". It will happen eventually. Very proud of our Captain for his remarks. Spot on.
Noeller Posted November 4, 2015 Report Posted November 4, 2015 I don't think Crosby's ever been publicly connected to a female, to my knowledge, but who knows. If I were guessing, tho.....and yeah, in this day and age, it's laughable that it's any kind of an issue.
Taynted_Fayth Posted November 4, 2015 Report Posted November 4, 2015 your just jealous of the playoff beards crosby can grow
The Unknown Poster Posted November 4, 2015 Author Report Posted November 4, 2015 I don't think Crosby's ever been publicly connected to a female, to my knowledge, but who knows. If I were guessing, tho.....and yeah, in this day and age, it's laughable that it's any kind of an issue. It would sure be something if Sid came out. Not just a pro player but arguably the best pro player of his generation. That would be something. Noeller 1
StevetheClub Posted November 4, 2015 Report Posted November 4, 2015 "Then, Burke said, there's the question of hockey culture itself. "Hockey is all about the team. Hockey culture hates individualism," said Burke. "Whether that's right or wrong, hockey culture is that you do not stand out. You do not make yourself different from the team. We've had players in our league that have been yelled at for high-fiving too aggressively. So I do wonder from talking to a bunch of different players in the league that this is a team sport and almost an obsessively team culture and I think there are guys out there that are nervous about the idea that them coming out would somehow be going against that."" I thought this was really interesting. Whether it's positive or negative attention, coming out will draw a lot of attention and there are probably many locker rooms that just don't want the media circus.
Brandon Posted November 4, 2015 Report Posted November 4, 2015 Who gives a crap? Really the media is making it an issue. Micheal Sam sucked as a player and if he was straight nobody would have a clue who he was. If you're going to trash a player and try to pretend they are gay that's pretty weak. I think players doing coke lr doing crazy things off the ice is a much larger and much more important topic the media should cover.
The Unknown Poster Posted November 5, 2015 Author Report Posted November 5, 2015 It comes down to how you feel about the issue. If you have anyone close to you that has felt forced to hide in the closet you might understand why it's important.
tacklewasher Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 I hope the first one to come out is not a rookie but is an established player whose value to his team is established. Doesn't have to be a star but should be someone who has played for a while. And they should come out to the team first, then the players go to the media as a group. Then the players tells the media it isn't a big deal and to f-off about it. It isn't worthy of the circus Sam got. StevetheClub 1
Taynted_Fayth Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 I dunno why there is a need to come out period, people pay to watch you play not gossip or even care about your personal life. If its a publicity stunt to show people out there even their sports stars are gay too, well i dont think it really makes a difference, if your comfortable coming out, you'll do it when your ready. we really need to get to a day and age where if someone is like "Hey everyone! Im gay!!" the response is "good for you" carry on, not make it a "omg did you hear! so and so is gay" As long as its put in a spotlight, itll remain an issue, the sooner its not an issue the sooner life goes on
The Unknown Poster Posted November 5, 2015 Author Report Posted November 5, 2015 I dunno why there is a need to come out period, people pay to watch you play not gossip or even care about your personal life. If its a publicity stunt to show people out there even their sports stars are gay too, well i dont think it really makes a difference, if your comfortable coming out, you'll do it when your ready. we really need to get to a day and age where if someone is like "Hey everyone! Im gay!!" the response is "good for you" carry on, not make it a "omg did you hear! so and so is gay" As long as its put in a spotlight, itll remain an issue, the sooner its not an issue the sooner life goes on With all due respect, if you dont understand the importance of this, thats okay, but best to just keep it to yourself and move along. There very well are likely some athletes that are gay who dont hide it from their friends/family and feel its no ones buisiness. But there are undoughbtably many who feel they cant come out for fear of what might happen. Thats the point. Ellen Page said it like this: "I'm here today because I am gay," Page, 26, told the audience, "and because maybe I can make a difference, to help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility."
bigg jay Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 I dunno why there is a need to come out period, people pay to watch you play not gossip or even care about your personal life. If its a publicity stunt to show people out there even their sports stars are gay too, well i dont think it really makes a difference, if your comfortable coming out, you'll do it when your ready. we really need to get to a day and age where if someone is like "Hey everyone! Im gay!!" the response is "good for you" carry on, not make it a "omg did you hear! so and so is gay" As long as its put in a spotlight, itll remain an issue, the sooner its not an issue the sooner life goes on You are completely clueless if you think people don't care/gossip about the personal lives of players. There's even a reality show (Hockey Wives) about this very thing. The players aren't simply Winnipeg Jet A, Winnipeg Jet B and so on, they are part of the team and community (even moreso in small markets like Winnipeg) so people do get emotionally invested in them on & off the field.
Taynted_Fayth Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 And its ppl like that that make this an issue. I like queen, didnt change one little bit when freddy mercury came out of the closet, becuse that had absolutely nothing to do with why I like or even know who queen are. Even after finding out, great, each to their own, I think mercury was a great singer n song writer. And still do. I get what ellen said but has anyone really said well if so n so came out, im comin out too! Its all about comfort and timing, not poster boys n girls
The Unknown Poster Posted November 5, 2015 Author Report Posted November 5, 2015 I'm afraid you don't understand the issue. Which is fine.
Taynted_Fayth Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 I do get the issue, people are waiting for celebrities to come out of the closet and break down these walls and inspire others, and im saying what walls?? the the gay community is large and very outspoken, and constantly making headlines in positive ways. why do people feel the need to get the sexual orientation out of hockey players now out in the spotlight? people will come out when if they want to if they ever even want to. If a hockey player wants to thats his perogative but in no way should it be a were waiting situation, to quote burke himself; Burke paused before adding: "I don't want to say it's disappointing because everyone is on their own timeline and when the first guy is ready he's going to do it." what if there is no gay people in the nhl? i understand the team aspect and the social fear of ridicule and outcast being a part of that team, its no different then being worried how the kids in school would react. but what im trying to say is its no ones business what u do between the sheets, what you do in the locker room and on the field/ice is what matters
The Unknown Poster Posted November 5, 2015 Author Report Posted November 5, 2015 Too many face palms. bigg jay 1
The Unknown Poster Posted November 5, 2015 Author Report Posted November 5, 2015 Do you think Ellen Page's comments indicate she thinks it's anyones business what she does in her bedroom?
Goalie Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 I don't care if someone is gay or not. I do think tho that coming out and saying you are gay shouldn't be that newsworthy. Who cares really. Not sure why people who are gay need approval by the masses. Ha where's my Damn straight parade huh. Why do people care. Who the **** is Ellen page anyway. You know who she is now? Some gay person. The fascination people have with other people is crazy... celebrities? Who cares really. My god I am a man... I don't watch tmz or entertainment tonight cuz I am a man and I don't give 2 shits about this crap. .. and that is what it is... crap. Your gay? Good for you. Why should I care tho Most of this is just screwing around but really... why do people care. Do people care? Straight people that is... do straight people really give a crap If someone is gay or not? And if you do care... why? How does a person saying they are gay... why should it matter? Yeah the gays have to deal with lots of issues... but guess what... straight people do too. Don't get why a straight person would actually care if someone was gay unless they are a closet gay themselves lol. Taynted_Fayth 1
Taynted_Fayth Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 Do you think Ellen Page's comments indicate she thinks it's anyones business what she does in her bedroom? apparently yes, she thinks she needs to be an advocate because she likes women
bigg jay Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 I don't care if someone is gay or not. I do think tho that coming out and saying you are gay shouldn't be that newsworthy. Who cares really. Not sure why people who are gay need approval by the masses. Ha where's my Damn straight parade huh. Why do people care. Who the **** is Ellen page anyway. You know who she is now? Some gay person. The fascination people have with other people is crazy... celebrities? Who cares really. My god I am a man... I don't watch tmz or entertainment tonight cuz I am a man and I don't give 2 shits about this crap. .. and that is what it is... crap. Your gay? Good for you. Why should I care tho Acceptance and approval are 2 different things. She'll always be Shadowcat/Kitty Pride & Treena Lahey to me! Brandon Blue&Gold 1
Rich Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 There are many people who are gay and are not at all comfortable coming out because of the backlash and perceptions and hate that they would receive. Just because you don't do it or don't see it happening, does not mean that gay people don't experience it or have anything to fear. Are things getting better then they were? Yes. Are they perfect? No. Like it or not, celebrities coming out help being gay "accepted" by a larger portion or people, which in turn make people more comfortable leaving the life they want to without feeling the need to hide it. The Unknown Poster, bigg jay, tacklewasher and 1 other 4
bigg jay Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 Do you think Ellen Page's comments indicate she thinks it's anyones business what she does in her bedroom? apparently yes, she thinks she needs to be an advocate because she likes women Or she thinks she can use her celebrity status in a positive way and make more of a change than your average person would be able to.
Taynted_Fayth Posted November 5, 2015 Report Posted November 5, 2015 I dont condemn her for doing so, im just saying its not necessary to broadcast what you do in your personal life just because your a celebrity. the way I read this article was is that people are waiting for these announcements and have been for 2 years without one, and I ask why? if your gonna go public (celebrity or not) with your sexual orientation you'll do so, but others shouldnt be waiting for something that might not even exist. as I put, what if there are no gay players in the NHL?
The Unknown Poster Posted November 5, 2015 Author Report Posted November 5, 2015 I don't care if someone is gay or not. I do think tho that coming out and saying you are gay shouldn't be that newsworthy. Who cares really. Not sure why people who are gay need approval by the masses. Ha where's my Damn straight parade huh. Why do people care. Who the **** is Ellen page anyway. You know who she is now? Some gay person. The fascination people have with other people is crazy... celebrities? Who cares really. My god I am a man... I don't watch tmz or entertainment tonight cuz I am a man and I don't give 2 shits about this crap. .. and that is what it is... crap. Your gay? Good for you. Why should I care tho Most of this is just screwing around but really... why do people care. Do people care? Straight people that is... do straight people really give a crap If someone is gay or not? And if you do care... why? How does a person saying they are gay... why should it matter? Yeah the gays have to deal with lots of issues... but guess what... straight people do too. Don't get why a straight person would actually care if someone was gay unless they are a closet gay themselves lol. Well Im sure we'll get into the "your opinion vs my opinion" debate. But good God what ignorance. This is what prejudice looks like in 2015. Not so subtly hidden behind "yeah but what about me, what about my rights" garbage. Go ahead and flame. tacklewasher 1
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